A Tear for Terry

Grief, gratitude, and the work that keeps us in the arena

Yesterday morning began with the familiar rhythm: back-to-back Zoom meetings with a friend in the Netherlands, then another in Washington, D.C. Out my office window, clouds were gathering over Carter’s Mountain, signaling the arrival of another late-winter storm.

I didn’t hear the iPhone ring; I had earphones in. But then Apple’s notification system flashed a message from Cindy that stopped everything: Terry Barnhart died last night.

Oh no! He and I had talked just two days ago. He was vibrant, bubbling with excitement about a new professional coaching program he launched and the new website he’d developed with our colleague, Mel Cortes.

Now, the site is live, but the man is gone.

I returned the call to Cindy, Terry’s wife. I was hurting, but that call was for her—a space to share grief, honor Terry’s memory, and offer help.

Terry and I had known each other for nearly thirty years, beginning as members of the Trusted Advisors Network. Like many of us, he had left the corporate world to build something of his own. We were a group of consultants learning the hard way what the “independent” part of “independent business” really meant.

In our meetings, Terry Barnhart always stood out. He had a keen perception of people and teams. He exuded a rare empathy; you felt instinctively that he understood your struggles. He was an innovative, restless learner, always searching for new ways to help his clients solve complex problems. While technology wasn’t his top skill, he dove headfirst into our explorations of AI, curious about how it would reshape the world for his customers. We spoke or emailed nearly every week.

Terry was a prolific writer, too. He posted frequently on LinkedIn and in our Chaotic Confluence community. Are you facing this struggle? Here is something that will help. He was providing sensitive, practical wisdom to leaders right up until the very end; he published his last LinkedIn article just hours before he passed. https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/iq-builds-capability-eq-alignment-systems-build-results-barnhart-em1ac

Terry’s death brings back a question we “seniors” in the consulting world hear often: Why do you keep doing this? Have you thought about retiring?

My usual answer is a half-joke: “I tried retirement once; it didn’t work.”

But Terry’s life offers the real answer. We stay in the arena because we share a dedication to helping others, a thirst for continuous learning, and a desire to provide wisdom to those struggling with the world’s complexity.

Terry Barnhart was the exemplar of those principles. He brought skill, curiosity, and a deep, quiet sensitivity to everyone he touched. He wasn’t just a colleague; he was a warm, caring friend who was working on the future until his final breath.

I mourn his loss, but I am so grateful for our time together.